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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628441">Trying to forget</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyscntiago/pseuds/amyscntiago'>amyscntiago</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Joyce Byers loves Jim Hopper, Post-Episode: s03e08 The Battle of Starcourt, joyce and el miss hop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:27:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24628441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyscntiago/pseuds/amyscntiago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Joyce knew that she would never be able to forget about him, and that was okay. He never had to be truly gone from her heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trying to forget</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi yall!! yes, i know Hop is alive (thankyou duffer brothers!!) but i was trying to write last night and this came into my head so, here we are:)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joyce was in pain.</p>
<p>Everything reminded her of him. And by everything, she meant everything. Police cars racing along the road, as she looked up to check if he was sitting in the driver’s seat, smoking his cigarette and singing you don’t mess around with Jim in a very out of tune way. The smell of coffee. She couldn’t bear to even look at the jar of coffee grounds in the cupboard any more, let alone drink it. And, probably the worst but most beautiful memory.</p>
<p>El Hopper. Jim’s dear adopted daughter, who had been through so much in her life already. Losing her Dad had been more than heartbreaking. He had cared for her, looked after her and given her the family she never had. Even if it just consisted of a grumpy policeman and his telekinetic adopted daughter living in a small cabin in the woods, they were both happy together, so very happy. Until it got torn away from them. </p>
<p>Yet El still managed to smile, and laugh, and love unconditionally. She smiled whenever Jonathan pulled out eggos from the fridge, she laughed at all of Will’s funny voices when they played Dungeons &amp; Dragons together, and she loved Joyce, Will and Jonathan with every ounce of her being. Even though it was hard for her to be consistently cheerful after Hop’s untimely death, she was trying her best. And Joyce couldn’t have been prouder. She would never tire of seeing a smile, however small, on that wonderful girls face.</p>
<p>She had thought that moving away from Hawkins would make it easier to forget him, but after a couple of weeks she knew she had been wrong to ever believe that. He would always be on her mind. She wished she could say that she had been able to focus on other things for at least a couple of hours at a time, but she couldn’t. She would always come back to thinking about him. Enzo’s. Their date. His shocked but pleasantly surprised face as she had reassured him that yes, it was a date. </p>
<p>She remembers sitting on her doorstep the night of their date that never was, at 7’o’clock, smoking a Camel, even if it made her cough and wonder why on earth would he smoke these? Although she would gladly smoke a million of them if it had the power to bring him back to her, to El, to her family. She also remembers crying herself to sleep that night, clutching one of his flannels that still held his scent tight to her chest.</p>
<p>She was sitting on her doorstep again now, watching her children pack their stuff into the boot of the car in preparation for a trip to Hawkins. Not being able to visit their friends everyday had definitely been one of the hardest parts about moving away, and although radioing the clan back in Indiana for hours on end was nice, Joyce knew that Jonathan missed being able to hold Nancy close, and she also knew that the hoodie El had borrowed from Mike wasn’t going to keep its scent forever.</p>
<p>Speaking of El, Joyce looked up and saw her daughter walking over to her sitting on the porch, clad in overalls and a ragged sweatshirt. She sat down on the step next to her, and Joyce smiled at the neat plaits braided in her hair. Never had she heard her daughter be prouder than when she walked in on her this morning, grinning at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had turned to Joyce and exclaimed excitedly, ’Mom, look! I braided my hair!’<br/>A few tears may have escaped her eyes as she exclaimed how proud she was, and how proud her Dad would have been too.</p>
<p>El turned to her again now. ‘You ready to go, Mom?’</p>
<p>It was then that she realised maybe she didn’t have to erase her memories of Hop completely to be able to move on without him. Maybe he could still be a part of her, deep inside her heart, that she could never ever forget. She was sad, and she was allowed to be, but she knew that he would of wanted her and his daughter to be happy. And she was going to try to be as happy as possible, for him. And for their family.</p>
<p>‘Yes, sweetheart. I’m ready.’</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am truly sorry @halfblvds. I hope you can forgive me&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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